About Me

I am a kindhearted, playful, and curious gal who is passionate about experiencing all that life has to offer.

Growing up, I spent a lot of my time playing outside and using my imagination. When I was not running around in my backyard, I enjoyed exploring what I could experience through my love of dance. I became enthralled in the world of ballet, spending a good portion of my adolescent and early adult life performing with a local dance company. Dance has been and still is one of my greatest passions and favorite form of artistic and emotional expression.

When I realized that ballet would not be the most lucrative career for me, I discovered another passion: Physics. I wanted to explore my analytical and scientific mind, so I majored in Physics in college. I found myself fueled by problem-solving and exploring the origin and inner workings of the universe. I continued on the academic track by moving from my hometown of Reno, Nevada to Boulder, Colorado to pursue a PhD in Aerospace Engineering Sciences. After I earned my PhD, I worked as an instrument scientist/engineer building instruments for NASA space missions.

While living in Colorado, I reconnected with my childhood love of adventure and recreating in nature. I began hiking up mountains, trail running, skiing, mountain biking, and skydiving. In the last 5 years, I also became a dedicated rock climber, ice climber, and backcountry skier.

Sounds like I’m l living the dream, right? Not quite. My life has not been without challenges. Like many athletes and scientists, I am a perfectionist. Regardless of my achievements, I never felt good enough — not smart enough, not strong enough, not accomplished enough. I’d beat myself up about everything I did wrong. This attitude led to an unhealthy relationship with both my career and outdoor activities. I found myself tying my entire identity to my accomplishments. I lost track of the very reason I involved myself in my passions in the first place: to explore myself and the world around me with curiosity and excitement. I was living a life of constant stress, anxiety, and depression.

My mental and physical health started to decline, and then my world got rocked in May 2020. A couple months after recovering from COVID-19, I started experiencing major health issues I now believe to be at least partly attributed to Long COVID. I experienced a range of neurological symptoms I never had before: numbness, muscle weakness/loss in muscle control, tremors, blurry vision, impaired cognitive function, fatigue, and the list goes on. Expecting a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, I was surprised when my MRI results came back normal. Not knowing what was wrong with me was terrifying. I had months in which I could not be active and partake in those experiences that gave me joy. I could not climb or run..I could barely walk. I struggled to do my job. What good was I without my brain power and physical abilities? I felt so broken. Unable to keep up at work anymore, I made the tough decision to quit my job and focus on improving my physical and mental health.

Limited in my abilities, I tried to focus on the small pleasures in life: enjoying the beauty and aromas of the flowers and trees, laughing, listening to music, filling my body with healthy and fresh nutrients, and connecting with my loved ones. I was becoming more present and grateful for each moment.

My health then started to improve. Despite my fear of returning to outdoor activities again, in which I would surely fail, I did them anyway. I started slowly training my body to rock climb, run, ski, and explore in the mountains again. It didn’t even matter how well I was performing, I was just grateful I could return to the activities I was passionate about. I was forming a healthier relationship with the outdoor world and it was more fun!

I am still progressing on my healing journey and have learned not to take my health for granted. While I am now certainly getting to experience incredible outdoor adventures and travel, my recovery is a journey full of many ups and downs. I still experience many of my original symptoms on and off and need down time. I still get anxious, depressed, and frustrated with myself. My attitude is changing though. Instead of focusing solely on my accomplishments, I am shifting toward accepting the ups and downs, being grateful for my life, connecting with others, and having good ol’-fashioned fun. This has made for the most enjoyable, profound, and memorable life experiences.

I’ve been learning so much through my journey and life experiences and want to connect with and help other people on their own unique journeys, which is why I started this blog. The Real Leel is a space filled with content that not only inspires adventure/play and spreads cheer. It also delivers honesty, vulnerability, guidance, and kindness.